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I was really drunk, really hungry, and apparently really horny. Anyway, we'd just left the bar, and I demanded he take me to In-N-Out because I needed a grilled cheese he doesn't eat fast food and has a ton of dietary restrictions, so he didn't get to order anything.

Their lines are ridiculous at all hours. While we were in line I started to tease him as a joke, but then ended up wanting to have sex, so I gave him head and swallowed right in time to order a grilled cheese without onions and fries from one of those attendants that walks up to your car.

He drove me to my house and I ate all my food on the way there. It was beautiful. The first time someone went down on me while I was driving was unexpected and exciting.

I had just introduced my boyfriend at the time to my group of friends at a bonfire, and on the way back he wanted to suck me off. I pulled the driver's seat of the car way back, pulled myself out of my jeans, and he began.

I was constantly on watch for other cars, knowing if anyone was driving close enough behind us they would know what was going on.

So we're puttering along the road, me half enjoying a BJ, half being a nervous wreck of a lookout, and just when I finally relax enough to enjoy this awesome moment I pass a police car on the side of the road.

I'm playing it cool, watching what I'm doing, and about another mile down the road, the most terrible thing I can imagine happening at the time happens.

I cum. As I'm pulling over, he quickly jumps up, and I'm trying to put myself back together. The officer walks up to my window with his flashlight and wants to know why we are out so late and if we've been drinking.

I was being pulled over for a busted taillight; meanwhile my pants are half buttoned and I'm a wet mess.

He let me go with a warning, but I was sure he knew what was happening. I used to give road head to my first high school boyfriend all the time—speeding down the highways in his mom's BMW M3.

Growing up in the Midwest lends itself to it; we would any old time. It was totally reckless, but he loved it, and I definitely have kept doing it in relationships since, if much more occasionally.

We hooked up in his car in the school parking lot when he wasn't driving, so it seemed a natural transition. It was so thrilling how fast he would drive; the fastest we ever hit was when another M3 pulled up next to us—I wasn't going down on him at the time—but I swear we hit like The most salient feeling was hoping no one driving by could see—or you know, kind of hoping they would.

The last time I gave road head I was in my early 20s. My boyfriend was driving his mom's minivan. I forget where we were going, what we were doing, or why I even felt inspired to start; what I do remember is him slamming on the breaks to avoid hitting a car in front of us.

His dick punched me in the back of my throat, but that was nothing compared to the pain he endured. It probably would have been less scarring to rear end whoever was in front of us.

By signing up to the VICE newsletter you agree to receive electronic communications from VICE that may sometimes include advertisements or sponsored content.

Sign In Create Account. Illustration by Katherine Killeffer. To cover up the noise, we watched Toy Story at full volume.

Well, it turns out my new girlfriends kid loves the same movie. When my ex and I were together, we had this tendency to always end up participating in a little road head on the many drives we always had to take across the state to see each other.

Since we were talking about other solutions besides condoms, our friends suggested IUD Intra-uterine-device.

The problem occurred when I look down to see that he has filled my belly-button up with his saliva. It would be a couple of weeks before the subject was brought up again.

My girlfriend stated a curiosity on how it works and it was explained to us that part of it is made of copper and that somehow it has an effect on preventing a fertilized egg from implantation.

He finally does, and after much laughter, we walk out of his room and find out that his roommate was there and heard the whole thing.

For all of month 4, however, I was out of the country, in Amsterdam. I watched the whole thing, only to have him wake up and say "Oh, I already watched that yesterday.

In the words of Dave Chappelle "Chivalry is dead, and women killed it! After about 30 minutes i told her she could stop im not selfish.

I looked after and cared for her for over 2 years, that guy threatened to beat her for not letting him attack her annoying friends.

If you think you can top this batch of rough loving, submit your story at the bottom of this page. CH Staff August 30, Welcome to Rough Love, the column where we share your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories.

One day, we had only been on the interstate for a good 20 minutes by the time I decided it would be a brilliant idea to simply spit out the window and save myself the clean-up.

Expressing more curiosity she says "That's so weird, I wonder how they discovered that copper of all things would work.

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